On Friends

When I was in high school I had a very large, very wonderful group of friends. We were closer than you could ever imagine. There was a group of us from the girls school and a group from the boys who would meet up every weekend, and after school and just hang out, listen to music, talk and drink. In a lot of ways, my high school days were the worst of my life, but socially, they were the best. I loved my friends fiercely. While I’m facebook friends with most of them still, there are only two I still speak with, one of which is my closest friend. I made good friends in college, nothing like the friends I had in school, but still good friends. We lost contact when we went off to university. I have made a couple of friends at university but again, nothing at all like the school days. Nothing will ever compare to the friendships I had then. And to be honest, it has never bothered me. As school came to an end I felt the need to distance myself from those friends anyway, we began growing in different directions, at different speeds and for the most part, I wanted to be alone. I like being alone. In less than 3 months I am leaving this place forever. I know I will never return to this town, or this area. There’s a good chance I may never return to the country, at least not for more than a visit. I have been working at this place for around 6 months and at first I didn’t really like anyone. But over the months I’ve grown fond of my colleagues, I won’t really call them friends yet, but I enjoy seeing them and I enjoy working with them. Last night, I caught myself feeling upset that when I leave here, I will never see any of them again. A short movie played in my head of my days working with them, laughing, being grumpy even. I think if I stayed here I could create some really lovely friendships with these people, some individuals in particular. But it has been my dream to leave this country for many years now and the time is finally approaching. I am beyond excited, but I think I’m actually beginning to crave friendship. I’ll have to start over once we settle and who knows how much longer it will be until I have some real, good friends. I really didn’t expect to feel like this. But I haven’t had a deep friendship since I left school 6 years ago. I have the one friend from school, who is my soul sister. But she is all I have, I need to branch out and find a new group. I think I’m starting to feel lonely. And when I no longer have university to dominate all my time, I think I’m really going to feel it. I guess it’s time to make the most of the time I have left with the people I work with, the few friends I have here, I haven’t even left yet and I already miss them.
– Quiet Waters


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